The Characters of our Rides

"The Others" a furtive, shadowy group of cyclists with only Ted Meisky as the publically known figure and official representative.  The Others (quantity comprising the group not known) ride COP Saturday rides on Sundays, Tuesday rides on Wednesdays, Thursday rides on Fridays, have developed unique language for communicating with each other during their rides, ride in unison as a group, each at exactly the same cadence and power output.  They are a machine.  Getting an image of UFOs is easier then one of these guys.

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Pastor Mark or Mark Clingan.  Notorious stop sign jumper who needs every possible edge to maintain contact with the A group.  Some say he has  poor taste in cycling jerseys but lime green with one's name on the sleeve is not the worst I've seen.  A great guy to have on an off trail hike.

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Dentist Brad in the middle or Brad Blair.  Known to do emergency tooth extraction if needed during rest stops. Franz on the right and Amy on the left.

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Tri-Andrew who leads a COP roving ride and offers drinks at the start.  Participates in big time tri events including Lake Placid.  Typically rides our rides, takes a run afterwards and jumps into a local creek for a few laps. Also wears a Manziere to support enormous pecs.

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Muscle Dude. Rides out of New Albany on Thursdays.  Probably lifts weights the other days.  Don't know much about him but very strong A cyclist.

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Recumbent Dude or Nathan.  Conflicted cyclist who can't decide between the recumbent style bike, favored by old people or a real upright bike favored by real cyclists.  His average speed drops precipitously when riding the upright.  Also has designs on becoming a world class tri-athlete but first pass the level of average local tri-athlete.

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Tri Mike, who sometimes rides with the New Albany group on Thursdays.

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Sarge or Donna B.  Long time ride leader for the Tuesday Canal rides but she relinguished that title in 2010. Known for maintaining military discipline in the parking lot and not hesitant to ban a rider if the unlucky person got on her bad side.  I fear her still.

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Crazy George or Retro George.  The retro came from a period when he rode a bike with no tape on the handle bar.  The crazy came from....well....if you spent any time around the guy you would understand.  His favorite quote is, "I can't believe you're still  with me" or "Are you still here".  Unfortunately, these are the only two lines in his quiver so he says them, at least to me, multiple times throughout a ride.  One of the areas most entertaining characters for sure.  Not sure of his age and not sure he knows either but mid to late 60's and still an "A" rider.

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SuperDave, sometimes just SupeDave and on occasion, "Alphabet" but rarely called by his real name, Dave K.  Here, a season of hard riding and ramping up incrementally each week in fitness has shed the marsupial pouch he grows in the off season and shows off proudly in the spring.  Originally earned his nickname by never having to stand and climb in the hills, remaining seated and also for the monster pulls, but that was a long, long time ago. 

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Winner of the "Best Dressed Award" for 2009, Dennis, aka, Style Queen, wrapped up the award for 2010 already.  I mean really, who else would be confident enough to wear a powder blue top with sky blue bottoms while riding a flowered Colnago...and this is one of his more muted outfits.  Dude should be working the runways of New York and the fashion district of Paris.  Maintains he is straight but.......

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Tall Dude, his mother calls him Donn, may not look that much taller than those around him here until you learn they were sitting on chairs while he was sitting on the floor.  Secretly wishes to be an elite climber or at least to hammer the top B cyclists.  One of the founding members of the new Cyclist Connection club rider team. 

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Margarita Rick or Rick Holt.  Once a strong cyclist, Rick was seduced by the "arts" crowd and became a well known actor, playwright, stage hand, key grip & gaffer in many local plays.  Rumored to be heading to Hollywood to pursue his dream of becoming a porn star.  Nickname was from appearing on stage on Friday nights, heading to the bar to circulate with actresses and in the wee morning hours, sleeping on park benches waiting for the Saturday morning ride to start.

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Flying Tuna, also known as "Flyin Tuna", "Flyin" or just "Tuna".  Cindy B got her name during a ride several years ago.  Many people thought a better nick name would be associated with her favorite activity, eating.  The speed with which food is delivered between plate and mouth has been compared to a Cobra strike.  But here is the real story: She and hubby Rod are frequent watchers of the Discovery Channel.  She told me their favorite activity, prior to watching several hours of Discovery Channel each night, is to treat themselves to grilled cheese sandwiches and milk before settling in for viewing.  Anyway, during a ride, she was telling me about having watched a program about fishes of the sea and which fish are the largest, smallest, most predatory, favorites of fishermen, etc..  Cindy noted the Tuna was one of the speediest of the salt water variety and about then, we crested a hill and began coasting down, picking up speed when she blurted, "Look at me, I'm a flying tuna!" Why yes Cindy, you are.

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THE Grand Poobah, sometimes known as Todd Lee.  So named because of his stature and time spent serving the pelotons of Tuesday Canal, Thursday New Albany, Saturday Roving Rides, etc... but also for his long and not very distinguished record of racing.  One of the co-founders of Savage Hill racing team and former Cat 3 racer, his skills began to erode at an early age and he is now but a shell of his former self.  OK, seriously, the first time I came out for a COP ride, the Wednesday Canal ride in 1998, Todd went out of his way to help me feel comfortable, a gesture I never forgot.  Time spent attending races with the Kenda Pro Cycling Team as the team's masseuse have prevented Poobah from dominating us but he swears he is going to hit the gym this winter and come back and kick butt in Spring, 2011.  We shall see.  Time may be better spent refining his driving skill so he can hone his motor pacing skill.

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Craig Butler is the person I refer to as Da Boss (on the right).  He takes on all comers, week after week and to my knowledge, no one in the last couple of years has been able to keep up with him throughout any route that has some hills, while riding side-by-side with him.  A couple of guys can draft and keep up on flattish routes but a hilly one....forget about it (I should add he frequently runs 5-8 miles prior to the Tuesday Canal rides).  Coming in second at Mountain Mama and second at Cheat Mountain Challenge adds to his bonifides. Those in the know say he is equivalent to a Cat 2 racer and many wonder why he does not take his act to the racing scene.  In addition to cycling, Da Boss competes in half and full marathons as well as the occasional 50 mile trail run event.  Probably central Ohio's top endurance athlete.  Probably what most people like about him is he is humble while dishing out beat downs week after week. When he gets on my bad side, you will sometimes see him referred to as "Da Employee" or "Da Janitor".

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Farmer Mike, at 67+/- years old, Mike Dietlan can hang with almost anyone on a bike and why not?  After selling vast areas of land around Alexandria, this former Agri-King has more free time on his hands than Bill Gates.  Dude rides a road or mountain bike every day.  While his road accomplishments are few, it is in mountain bike racing that he excels, winning virtually every 60+ division and finishing high in the 50+ age division.  Farmer Mike especially likes competing in the "Mohican 100" a grueling mountain bike race.

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Few will recognize this former fatty but this is Group Killer or Jamie Roberts.  Unfortunately, he is taking a sabbatical from riding to focus on running and we are all poorer because of it.  If you want to know what he looks like after losing 100 pounds, see the image above of Craig Butler.  That's Jamie on the left.  As Jamie began losing weight, the ease with which we dropped him from the group rides became harder, then more harder then could not drop him then could not stay up with him.  It was remarkable to see what losing 100 pounds can do to one's speed on a bike.  On 2009 Thursday New Albany rides, he would ride away from the A group and thus earned the nickname of Group Killer.  Then he quit cycling and came back in 2010 but did not have the same cycling form and thus could only ride with the A group but also sometimes getting dropped and so you'll find him referred to as "Group Molester", "Group Bruiser" or just plain "Groupie" in past ride reports. Will we see him on a bike again???

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Kevin Hollingshead, once known as "Polish Pony" for no particular reason has recently fallen in to a more suitable nickname, "Pepe Le Pew" or just "Pepe" for short.  Amanda O got this started by commenting that Kevin smelled good, EVEN AFTER CENTURY RIDES IN AUGUST!  It was also learned that Kevin collects empty bottles of cologne and keeps them on shelves in his home.  He says his favorite is a 1999 bottle of Chanel #5 and a 1997 bottle of Acqua Velvet. Frequently, he can be heard humming the tune, "Acqua Velvet Man" from the old commercial.

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Steve Oxley on the right, also known as Steve Oxley.  I can't come up with any thing remotely clever for a nickname so maybe someone can help.

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The Big Diesel, aka Jeff Schluep, aka Schluepenator, aka Calfman can take enormous pulls and sizable frame makes a good shield behind which to draft.  Rare spices of rhino may have larger calve muscles but nothing walking on two legs can match the pianos he carries around.  Looks older than he really is, I think.  Scored big at the 2010 Assault on Mt. Mitchell tour in NC by riding away from Steve O and placing first among cyclists from central Ohio who also drive a blue van and also have grey hair. Long time and distinguised ride leader of Thursday New Albany ride.  Likes to keep things simple for us with two basic routes, one clickwise the other counterclockwise.

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Pugilist Mark or, just Mark Rossi to his friends.  Good guy to have in your group if attacked by drunk motorist, as happened a couple of years ago to our group.  He and wife Karen frequently ride the tandem and don't seem to mind me drafting during the early season flat rides.  Unfortunately, when hilly routes start popping up on the schedule, they aren't so valuable but good people nonetheless.

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