While I can't wield it as well as this guy.....
....I hiked to Home Depot and bought this! No longer will I emerge bloody from having been bushwhacked by overgrown plants that have encroached on the trail. Now I am the Master of the Wilderness. First though....
...I take a trail to "test drive" my new weapon. Of course, trails are generally clear in the beginning so I have to walk 2 miles before I get to a place where growth of sticky things have intruded on the trail. No indiscriminate hacking by me, no way, my hacking will be very discriminate with the sole purpose of making life easier for my fellow hikers.
Hmmmm, not very effective against the grass that cuts the shins but that was to be expected. A weapon of this caliber would be useful on sterner stuff and so it was. PLUS!!!!! I realized for close combat with a mountain lion or bear, my machete, which I have nicknamed "Slasher", would be lethal, for one of us. There is a new Sheriff in the wilderness and his name is SLASHER.