Eve Hush's Words of Wisdom...Female Perspective

I welcome input or content from other cyclists so Eve Hush provided the below, very useful information:

Biker Etiquette for the Cycling Male To Attract More Biker Babes of All Ages.

Due to the lack of females not returning to repeat ride it has come to my attention that THE MALE BIKERS need some
guidelines.

1.DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DISCUSS THEIR WEIGHT AND HOW THEY APPEAR IN THEIR SPANDEX OUTFITS.

2.Do not for an extended length of time discuss gear ratios, cogs and weights of certain parts of the bike.  This will certainly bore them initially.

3.Do not brag about your average speed and sustaining power up the steep hills.  This will scare them away.

4.If there are no porta- potties in sight, please move further into the brush.  We do not want the new females to run off the side of the road into a ditch.

5.Do not tell them the all the directions for the ride at once and leave them in the “dust.”

6.Do not as a topic of conversation discuss the conditions of the road for over an hour.  
 
7.Do not traumatize the new person by holding one side of your nostril and blowing your nose on the road.

8.Offer to carry a piece of clothing of hers. This will not damage your average speed tremendously.

9.Do not taut that Male Cyclist make better lovers because of you sustaining athletic ability!  She will bolt.

10.Always move aside for the female cyclist and let her get ahead in the bathroom line at the Stop N Rob gas
stations.

11.Do not be vulgar on the first ride because you have ridden with the group for years.  

12.Do not double fisted eat . This is alternating your food with each hand and talk at the same time.  Never brag how
much you can eat and stay slim!!!

It these guidelines are followed our group might expand the female element.  These rules do not apply to the long time existing veteran riders such as Janet, Cyndi, Donna and Eve.