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Eve Hush's Words of Wisdom...Female Perspective

12/2/2013

5 Comments

 
I welcome input or content from other cyclists so Eve Hush provided the below, very useful information:

Biker Etiquette for the Cycling Male To Attract More Biker Babes of All Ages.


Due to the lack of females not returning to repeat ride it has come to my attention that THE MALE BIKERS need some
guidelines.


1.DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DISCUSS THEIR WEIGHT AND HOW THEY APPEAR IN THEIR SPANDEX OUTFITS.

2.Do not for an extended length of time discuss gear ratios, cogs and weights of certain parts of the bike.  This will certainly bore them initially.

3.Do not brag about your average speed and sustaining power up the steep hills.  This will scare them away.

4.If there are no porta- potties in sight, please move further into the brush.  We do not want the new females to run off the side of the road into a ditch.

5.Do not tell them the all the directions for the ride at once and leave them in the “dust.”

6.Do not as a topic of conversation discuss the conditions of the road for over an hour.  
 

7.Do not traumatize the new person by holding one side of your nostril and blowing your nose on the road.

8.Offer to carry a piece of clothing of hers. This will not damage your average speed tremendously.

9.Do not taut that Male Cyclist make better lovers because of you sustaining athletic ability!  She will bolt.

10.Always move aside for the female cyclist and let her get ahead in the bathroom line at the Stop N Rob gas
stations.


11.Do not be vulgar on the first ride because you have ridden with the group for years.  

12.Do not double fisted eat . This is alternating your food with each hand and talk at the same time.  Never brag how
much
you can eat and stay slim!!!

It these guidelines are followed our group might expand the female element.  These rules do not apply to the long time existing veteran riders such as Janet, Cyndi, Donna and Eve.
5 Comments
The Queen has Spoken
12/2/2013 01:29:34 am

It sounds like Queen Eve has just volunteered to be a ride leader for women cyclists. Congratulations!

Reply
Cindy
12/2/2013 02:36:19 am

Well put Eve, well put. And I think she was just getting started....

Reply
Corvair
12/2/2013 04:01:29 am

I think there may be a part 2 to this. I hope many more women will attend next year's Tuesday night ride in Canal.

Reply
Mitch
12/2/2013 05:37:23 am

Chicks don't dig on gear ratios?

Poppycock.

Reply
Cindy
12/6/2013 12:58:25 am

Mitch, read the exclusions to the rules.....

Reply



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    Mark is a long-time cyclist who enjoys poking fun at himself but most especially at his friends. No nicknames or comments are intended to offend, accept them in the humor they are intended.

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