I arrived at the start of the Millersport Corn Festival ride about as unmotivated as I can be. Brought a contractor in to replace the kitchen floor but after talking to my wife for 15 minutes the project mushroomed into tearing out a wall, remodeling the kitchen, etc.. and with the 3-day weekend, he left me a string of projects to complete before he came back on Tuesday (I enjoy this type of activity). Couple this with strong winds out of the west and well... this ride had short cut written all over it. Here, Mark C is resting after he and Steve O rode from Canal and added 28 miles before the official ride start. Overall, probably 55 at the start. Now the bad news. September 1 was the end of my probationary period leading up to membership status in the renowned Kenda team. However, Todd took me aside to let me know the Kendaites had gotten together for their quarterly meeting. All the Kendas were present including Janet, Dave, Rick, Paul, Farmer Mike, Stefano and of course, Grand Poobah. After taking care of old and new business, the final item on the agenda was a membership vote for me. Poobah said it was unanimous against me, with Kenda Janet abstaining (gee, thanks). I was stunned and asked why, arguing 1) The Kendas like to short cut and so do I, 2) The Kendas frequently forget things before a ride, as do I, 3) The Kendas are way past their prime, just like me, 4) The Kenda males wear women's cycling gear and I have a women's large jersey or two that I wear, 5) The Kendas are urbane, sophisticated and classy and...uh oh.... It is said Kenda Dave can taste the difference between a 1954 and 1955 Château Laffite Rothschild while I can't even pronounce the name...heck...I have a hard time differentiating between wine and beer. Todd also said several insubordinate acts did not help my cause such as not always applying chamois butter when ordered. Well, that's that. We left the parking lot with Mark C, Steve O, Dan Farley, Jimmy, Kendas Paul & Janet, Poobah and the young phenom, Logan. I thought it odd that Logan never took a pull but Poobah let me know he was saving Logan for the head wind on the way back. We reached the turn off and I selected the 50 mile option under a cacophony of derision from the others who took the 75 mile option. Gosh, the wind was strong and I stopped to look at the map and noted the route would go farther east, making a longer stretch into that wind. I cut west and ended with 28 miles. I know, sad. But hey, I was rested for.... .....the Sunday Canal ride, at which there was a large crowd including Jeff S, Mitch, Peggster, Amanda, Tim F, Eve, Arron (old Sausage Hill guy), and many others, probably 30. Cool start had us debating how many add-ons we should wear when suddenly, I guess to fight the cold, Kendas Janet and Paul dropped to the asphalt parking lot and began break dancing. Here, Paul's feet had been moving so rapidly he lost a sock and had to stop while Janet is performing a complicated move. Hilly route that took us up Slough then out Pickerington where I had to stop to remove a jacket and pack it. This brief stop resulted in me having to ride the rest of the route alone which included Delmont, Stoney Hill, Christmas Rock, MacDonald and eventually Stoutsville where I found everyone waiting. Mitch and Jeff had added to the route and cruised into the lot right after me. After everyone else left, the three of us headed out and with the Little Diesel (Jeff) pulling practically the entire way back, Mitch and I were hard pressed to hang on. Ended up with 64 miles and 3700' of climbing on a beautiful day with little wind.
5 Comments
Anonymous
9/5/2010 12:38:59 pm
Maybe this comment is influenced by several vodka & Red Bulls recently consumed ... but that's some damn fine blogging.
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Amanda
9/5/2010 01:59:51 pm
To Anonymous, I have to agree! I laughed out loud. It was a great day for a ride!
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kenda janet
9/6/2010 05:35:18 am
mark - i put in a good word for you but in the end it wasn't enough...
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Mark
9/6/2010 06:52:09 am
Janet. There is an old saying, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" I have been very kind to Kendaites the last 3 months during my probationary period, not posting embarassing images or posting the more salacious stories. For example, I have heard Paul has been nominated to certain transvestite organizations because he is a well known cross dresser. Would you care to comment before I go public with this?
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kenda janet
9/7/2010 09:45:06 am
mark - sooner or later the truth comes "out"....
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